


Schneed Dating

by resoundingdeluge



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resoundingdeluge/pseuds/resoundingdeluge
Summary: After finding out that Neptune's intentions with her are less than pure, Weiss decides to try out speed dating. It goes about as well as could be expected.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Schneed Dating

It was a slap that echoed off of every surface in the surrounding courtyard. The kind of slap that made every male within a fifty foot radius flinch, even if they hadn't seen it. The kind of slap hard enough to knock the highlights out of one's hair.

A slap so hard, it could play an entire bassline in one motion.

"I can't _believe_ you!" Weiss shrieked, her face red enough to match the inside of her jacket. "We barely _know_ each other!"

Neptune rubbed at his cheek, wondering if the damage would be permanent. After a thorough check of his previously, and still flawless skin, he brought his hand up from the side of his face to smooth out his hair. After all, in the midst of a breakup with what seemed to be half of Beacon Academy staring, priority one was to remain _cool_.

"Weiss… _baby_. Baby Weiss," he began. His soon-to-be-former partner balled her fists and clenched her teeth. "Why are you so upset? Valentine's Day is coming up, and we've gone on at _least_ ten dates, by now. Really, it's just logic. I'm hot. You're hot, and rich. Why not get hot together?"

"Oh, so this is about _money_ , as well? I thought, unlike everyone else, you might actually be interested in _me_ , rather than my figure, or family. We're through, Neptune." Weiss folded her arms and turned, her nose pointed toward the sky.

"H-hey, wait! The rich thing was meant to be a compliment! I still like you for you!" The cerulean-haired male walked forward to try to catch up, weaving his way through the murmuring crowd that had all eyes on the pair. "Come on, give me a chance!"

Weiss whirled, fury in her eyes as she looked up at him. "Tell me _one_ thing you remember from any of our dates, that I've told you about myself. Just one."

Neptune opened his mouth and half-shut it again. He then rose a finger and tried to speak, before he was interrupted.

"One thing that does _not_ involve my family, money, or academic records."

Neptune lowered the finger, and bit his lower lip. Truth be told, he had spent all two of their dates either sneaking glances where he shouldn't have, or working out a story as to why he'd forgotten his wallet. Again.

"This is a joke, isn't it? Can you even name something I've ordered, when we've gone out for food? I don't know, maybe a _drink_ that I have after every meal?" The heiress' anger only seemed to be rising, and Neptune knew that it was now or never. He had to defuse the situation immediately.

"You, uh… you're… hot chocolate, right? And we laughed about it, because people, um, think you're cold?" Neptune offered his best cheesy grin, while rubbing one hand on the back of his head. "…so that's a 'no' to making out at my place on the holiday, isn't it?"

Weiss merely blinked several times in succession, unimpressed. "I can't believe I wasted any time on you. After the dance, I thought, just _maybe_ , you'd think of someone other than yourself, for a change."

Without leaving him a chance to reply, she turned and stomped off toward the dorms, leaving Neptune to think about what he'd done.

Or, most likely, the butt that he'd just tried to touch in public, without her permission.

* * *

Weiss made her way through the walkways of Beacon, a permanent frown plastered across her face as she passed throngs of students holding books, bags, and occasionally, _hands_. She made sure to glower at the last set in particular, and earned more than a few confused looks for her sour temper. At that moment, what others thought of her didn't matter. They may as well have been shadowy clones of each other without any faces, for all she cared.

As she continued her angry, meandering walk, a shocking pink object drew her attention from somewhere on the left. Weiss stopped and turned, transferring her arms from their folded state onto her hips as she stared at the obnoxiously-colored flyer on the nearby billboard, and began to read.

" _Afraid you might be alone for Valentine's Day?_

_Tired of feeling like no one really understands you, on an emotional level?_

_Always wondering 'Why can't they just see what they're missing?'_

_Come on down to the main gym at 7:00pm on February 12th for speed dating!_

_Meet your classmates and get to know them in a whole new light in a risk-free, one-on-one encounter._

_Satisfaction guaranteed!*_

_*Our satisfaction, for a small fee of 10 lien to sign up."_

Weiss huffed, before swiping the flyer and beginning to head off again for her dorm. Was one supposed to take flyers, or simply memorize the information? To her, it didn't matter. She had people to meet.

* * *

" _So_ ," Yang began. Weiss knew what that tone of voice meant, and she let out a sigh to prepare herself for the incoming weapons-grade pun as she looked herself over in the bathroom mirror. Her team stood behind her, Ruby looking nervous, Blake looking rather annoyed, and Yang looking filled to the brim with enthusiasm. "You see the guy, and as he approaches, you look him dead in the eye, and say "Weiss to meet you." _Boom!_ Guaranteed success!"

This time, it was Blake's turn to blink, as she replied in a deadpan, disinterested tone.

"That's horrible. You should feel horrible."

" _Hey!_ " Yang replied, her hands on her hips. "Which member of this team has gotten the most action? That's right, it's _me_. If anyone's going to give advice, it should be me, because I can land guys like nobody's business."

The faunus offered the enthusiastic girl a sidelong glance, and kept her monotone.

"Then why are you still single?"

"Because I'm not in it for commitment. Duh!"

"I don't know, Blake," Ruby interjected. "I think it's kinda cute. Besides, the other people there might have pickup lines. That's how dating works, right? You exchange pickup lines, and then… isn't there a mating dance? Something like that?"

Weiss had to resist the urge to roll her eyes while applying mascara, lest she end up with more than one scar in that area. "I don't _need_ advice, and that was, indeed, horrible. And _no_ , Ruby, there aren't any dances involved."

"Unless you count _seeeeeeex_ ," Yang chimed in, earning a furious blush from both Weiss and her own little sister, who balked in confusion.

"Wait, is that what sex is like? You're supposed to _dance_ while you… _really_? How does that even w-"

Blake cut in with a frustrated noise, raising her volume as she turned and left the bathroom. "You're all stupid and I hope the ceiling collapses in there. I'm going back to reading." And with that, the faunus disappeared from view.

"Did neither of you listen to me?" said Weiss as she finished her makeup, blinking a few times and checking her eyes to make sure that the application was even. "I don't want some… _fling_ , and there will be no dancing, or… _Yang's_ style of dancing," the blonde winked, making a sort of snapping noise with her tongue as she offered some finger guns, "involved. I just want someone who isn't one of you three that looks at me and sees something more than a walking credit card."

Yang threw her hands up with an exasperated sigh. "Well, you do you. I still say you should just hook up with some dude and get it out of your system. Relationships are overrated. That Mercury guy over in the exchange student dorms isn't a bad kisser, and he's a cheap date."

"Oh, _please_ ," Weiss replied. "He's more antisocial and introverted than _me_. And, once again, none of this 'hooking up.' I'm serious, Yang." She turned to face the pair, and rested her hands upon the countertop behind herself while leaning back into it.

"Fine, fine. You do you," Yang said once again with a sense of finality. Ruby clasped her hands in front of herself, and began to sway back and forth ever so slightly.

"You'll be fine, Weiss. I'm sure there's a guy out there who'll appreciate your little quirks and stuff. I mean, at least you'll be seeing a lot of them tonight! What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

 _Everything about this is wrong_ , Weiss thought to herself as she listened to Ozpin's words. The professor stood on an elevated stage, hands resting atop his cane while he addressed the assembled students and explained the rules.

**_Three minutes_ ** _!? How am I supposed to figure anything out about someone in a measly three minutes?_

Weiss let out a small whine, suddenly feeling very stupid for coming to the event.

"I understand that situations like this can be very difficult, at first, but this is really no different from any other skill," Ozpin continued. "With practice, it will become easier, until you find yourself comfortable talking. If you really do not know what to say, a sheet of suggested conversation starters is attached to the wall of each booth. All rounds will be concluded by the sound of a bell, and students with 'A' tickets will rotate to the next booth at that time."

Weiss looked down at the small, pink ticket in her hand, clearly marked with 'B12'.

"B students will remain where they are, and all of you are free to leave at any time. Should you stay until the end, there will be a small closing speech, and an opportunity to exchange contact information with anyone that may have caught your eye. Good luck, and enjoy yourselves tonight." Ozpin nodded to the audience, and walked off of the stage to take his place behind a waiting bell atop a podium.

Weiss felt as though her stomach might drop through the center of her body, and frowned as she began to move toward her booth. Each booth was set up with a red curtain in front of it, and a tall, wooden frame. Weiss pushed the curtain labeled 'B12' aside, and made her way inside to find a fairly small chamber, with black benches affixed to both of the side walls. Stapled to the back wall was a laminated list of fifty questions, and Weiss began to eye a few lines as she took her seat.

_1\. Where did you grow up?_

_2\. If you weren't going to be a hunter, what would you do instead?_

_3\. Do you have any pets? What are their names?_

_12\. What's your favorite movie?_

_31\. Where upon your weapon of choice is the requisite gun feature?_

Weiss frowned as she folded her hands into her lap.

 _These questions are **dumb** , _she thought. _If someone starts referring to that list because they can't keep a three minute conversation going, they're immediately off the list of potential dates. Period._

The sound of a bell rang out inside of the gym, and Weiss' stomach did a loop.

_Well, here we go…_

The curtain was drawn back, and a male that Weiss had never seen before entered. He was a hunter of average height, wearing a simple green t-shirt, jeans, and _far_ too much gel in his hair. She straightened up her posture and offered a cheery smile, doing her best to hide her nervousness as he sat down across from her.

"Hi!" he exclaimed, squirming awkwardly in his seat. "I'm Beryl."

"It's nice to meet you, Beryl. I'm W-"

"Weiss Schnee. Yeah, I know. I think everyone knows. This is exciting! What a first round!" The boy was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes wandering from her, to the accents of the room, and then the posted list of questions.

"I… _right_ ," she replied, her heart joining her stomach down in some subterranean tunnel. All of her enthusiasm was sucked from the room, and she looked down at her hands. "I suppose we should… get to know each other, now?"

"Oh! Right!" he said, as he shifted again. "What's it like, growing up in a mansion? It sounds incredibly cool!"

Weiss pulled a face, not wanting to get into the truth. She had already decided that this encounter was a dud.

"Yes. So, _so_ cool. A dream, really."

"Cool." Beryl continued to look around, before pulling out his scroll. "Hey, what time did we start?"

 _Why would I know that?_ she thought to herself.

"I… I don't know. I suppose… where did you grow up?"

Beryl launched into a story about his family farm. To her credit, Weiss listened intently, though she never got a word in again. Thankfully, the bell again rang out, and the moment it did, Beryl stopped talking and disappeared through the curtain without so much as a 'goodbye'.

Weiss' mouth dropped open slightly as she watched the rustling material.

"How _rude_!" The heiress folded her arms across her chest, scrunching her nose as she huffed.

"You called?"

The curtain rustled again, as another contender entered the ring. There in the booth stood one Mercury Black, and Weiss' mouth only opened wider.

" _Mercury_? What… why are you…"

"Same reason you are, probably." Mercury sat down heavily and slouched forward, leaving only about two feet between them as he let his arms rest on his spread legs. "What else is there to do on a Tuesday? It sounded like it could be good for a stupid laugh, so here I am."

Weiss finally managed to close her mouth, and instinctively leaned backward until her shoulders touched the wooden wall behind her. "So, you're not even going to _try_ to take this seriously?"

Mercury hiked a brow. "In general, or with you?"

Weiss blinked. "Are… the answers actually different…?"

"Nope," he replied almost instantly, popping his lips at the end of the word. "Like I said, I'm just in this for fun. You're not like Yang, are you?"

" _No_ ," Weiss shot back, knowing exactly what he meant. Her skin crawled as Mercury raised his hands up and shrugged.

"Can't blame me for asking. I knew she'd talk."

"That's _revolting_. I'm… I want to actually find someone who might be interested in something other than killing time, or… or something… l-lewd." Weiss crossed her legs instinctively, staring him down.

"Well, that's a huge shame. Good luck, though, I guess." Mercury decided to mirror her, and crossed his own.

"…well… thank you, I suppose?" She grew more and more confused by the second, as she tried to figure out her current companion.

"Sure." Mercury tilted his head to the list of questions on the wall, scanning for something of interest. Weiss followed his eyes, his actions only adding to her perplexed state.

"…scariest thing you've ever done?"

Despite her self-imposed rule regarding the list of questions, Weiss found herself seriously thinking the question over. The bell rang once again, and curiously enough, Mercury didn't move from his seat as he looked her over, awaiting an answer.

"I suppose… telling my father that I wanted to study at Beacon Academy, over Atlas. He didn't take it well, and it turned into an argument."

Mercury crossed his arms. "Huh. Well, then. This wasn't so bad, I guess. See you around, Schnee." He offered her a smirk as he stood.

"No, I… suppose it wasn't, after all. See you…"

Weiss allowed herself a little smirk as she watched him go, followed by a sigh. The next up was another familiar face, though she couldn't quite place where she'd seen him before.

"Sky. Sky Lark."

_Right. One of Cardin's boys…_

Weiss tried to hold back her frown, but didn't quite manage as her courtier sat down before her.

* * *

The night dragged on almost endlessly, and each suitor seemed as though they had gotten worse than the last as time went on. Sky had proven to be uninteresting, the next had simply read from the list of questions without letting her ask any of her own, the third in line looked ready to burst into tears as she tried to make simple conversation, and the latest released a belch strong enough to strip the paint from the wooden booth in the middle of one of her answers.

Weiss sat alone in the booth between dates, curled slightly into the corner and quite upset.

 _One more. I'll give it **one**_ _more try, and then, I'm leaving. This has been a colossal waste of time, a huge embarrassment, and I can't believe I even considered something so childish and stupid._

The sound of heavy footsteps echoed outside of the booth, and Weiss sat up into as much of a good posture as she could manage at that moment. With a deep breath, she tried to mentally prepare herself as the curtain was pulled back.

She failed.

_"Hello again!"_

Pyrrha Nikos pushed her way into the booth, and for the second time that night, Weiss found her jaw on the floor.

"I… _what_? How are… _why_ are…"

"Well, it's a bit of a long story, to be completely honest… and it didn't even occur to me that I could end up seeing someone I knew," Pyrrha replied as she sat down. Oddly enough, she looked rather nervous, her cheeks a bit flushed as she tried several positions for her hands before awkwardly settling them atop her thighs.

"I'd always just assumed that you were already seeing someone. After all, you're the most popular huntress at this school…" Weiss didn't realize that she had made the same mistake that so many had made about her, until the moment after she spoke.

"That's, actually part of the problem," Pyrrha began. "Everyone who tries just ends up treating me like a trophy, and the one person I've ever tried to initiate with is… I'm struggling to get my intentions across." She finished her statement with a nervous smile, and began wringing her hands together.

Weiss found it oddly adorable… and incredibly relatable. The thought of dating another _girl_ had never occurred to her before that moment, and yet…

_…why not?_

"Believe it or not, I think I may understand how you feel. Everyone I've dated sees me as either a walking wallet, or something to show off. Or… well, they want…" Weiss trailed off, unable to bring herself to say it.

"…things you're not quite sure that you're willing to give, yet." Pyrrha nodded, her fiery hair bouncing as she did so. Weiss mirrored the motion, contracting Pyrrha's blush.

"Yes, exactly. It's nice to see a friendly face, and one that isn't just… _trying_ to offend me."

"What's the worst you've had to deal with?" Pyrrha tilted her head, maintaining eye contact.

"…the one before you. He belched in my face."

Pyrrha cringed. "I'm so sorry. Two 'dates' ago, my partner tried to… 'trip' while he got up to 'stretch', and use my chest to balance himself. I sent him through the wall of the booth on instinct alone, and that's why I started rotating through, instead of being a 'B' ticket." She let out a nervous laugh, and Weiss found herself joining her friend.

"That's _horrible_. I-"

For the final time that night, Weiss' stomach sank. The _bell_. That cursed, unwelcome bell. Pyrrha's shoulders slumped a bit at the sound, and Weiss offered her a frown as the redhead stood, and began to speak.

"Well, unfortunately, it sounds like I have to go. It was nice to see you here, Weiss. I hope we both have better luck, the rest of the n-"

"What if… we both left? Together?" Weiss interrupted, her cheeks burning. "I can't really promise that this would… _go_ anywhere, but I actually wanted to keep talking to you, and you're the first person tonight that I can say that about. Besides… I know you, but I feel like I don't… _know_ you. You know?"

Pyrrha paused, her hand holding the curtain halfway open as she considered the notion. "…I think I do know. I guess it couldn't hurt, right? We do seem to have a lot in common. Maybe… coffee?"

"Coffee sounds _wonderful_ ," Weiss said as she rose. Pyrrha stepped out of the booth, and Weiss followed, leaving the curtain open to mark the chamber as empty for the remaining hopefuls.

Pyrrha made her way through the center of the gym, with Weiss in tow. After only walking a few feet, she turned to look back as she made for the door.

"So, Weiss, is this… a _date_ , still? I've never been on a date with another girl."

"I… don't know? I haven't, either." Weiss hesitated, before following up with a slightly hopeful tone. "Would you like it to be?"

It took Pyrrha all of a second to reply. "…I wouldn't mind." The taller girl offered a gloved hand, and Weiss accepted it, moving forward slightly to walk by her side.

The two left the gym together, in search of the closest café.


End file.
